Arthur the author

Wed, 22 Nov 2006 10:21:51 +0100

Arthur the Author here.
I have decided to become a bogger to give massive publicity to a new edition of my book Weird Wide Web which I hope to publish before the Christmas rush so I have something to stuff in Mrs Lucinda’s stocking on Christmas Eve.
I am the proprietor of www.windsorsoup.co.uk , founder of the Campaign Against Renaming Ancient Pubs, or CARAP and dictator forlife of SPOOF, the Society for the Preservation of Organic Old Foods, such as brown Windsor soup.
I was once described as a sex symbol. Or maybe it was dick head. Same thing really.
My book will be published by online publishers www.lulu.com . It is in the Science Fiction and Fantasy section. Fantasy and Science Fiction authors invent weird worlds. Often with planets with unlikely names like Google or Lycos with gods with names like Sergey and Brin who live on a mountain called Altavista, high view, the centre of a weird world endlessly searching, searching, like the modern equivalent of the legend of the Flying Dutchman ever floating through cyberspace.
My computer came from a company called Time Computers. It is...
My computer came from a company called Time Computers. It is was a Time machine. But Time computers have ceased to exist. Time has stopped. But the clock still ticks.
PG Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster’s butler Jeeves was on the internet. He worked for a search engine called Ask Jeeves. Jeeves has been dismissed. Now engine (why are they called engines?) called Ask. The internet has heroes with made up names like Captain Bill Gates on spaceships with names like Explorer.
The starship Internet Explorer has a wizard to magic you up.. No witches though. Sexist. The Weird Wide Web invents non-existent characters. They invent a world where nothing and nobody is real. Fantasy. I, Arthur Brownwindsor, am on all the major search engines. As is my lady wife Lucinda Brownwindsor. And mon ami , mime artist star of Windsor Silent Radio, Marcel L’Aise. I bet you are not.

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Arthur the author